Why go back on my word?
She started having people other than herself harass me by phone. I realized that my serenity wouldn’t be achieved until I returned whatever crap she wanted to her. So I drove out there and dropped it off tonight. 4 hours.
Text Message sent to Analie last night
Analie: Your boxes are in front of the house at <address>. Everything I have. Electronics are in bags so they don’t get damaged by rain. A final kindness to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
I don’t want to hear from you again until you are ready to apologize for being an absolutely horrible person to me every step of the way, all the way up to these controlling demands. If this means never hearing from you again, so be it.
You’re an addict with no actual interest in recovery. You’re going to be a curse on anyone who is with you and lose relationship after relationship – as you have done up until now – until you make up your mind to recover from your horrendous addiction. Or you die. I feel sorry for every friend and family member, especially your mom, who was the target of your abuse and manipulation when I arrived in June.
I acted as I did to you because after you got that $800 for the lawn mower you turned back into the manipulative, abusive addict person I remember from back in January. You made it easy to decide not to take you in, you’d wreck my life, because all you want is an enabler for a while longer. The only decision you made was to not tell me the words I needed to hear to help you – because you are an addict and you cannot, yet.
Before you turned controlling and manipulative, you have no conception how much I was willing to sacrifice for you, and no appreciation of how lucky the opportunity was. Your life is already horrid and a wasteland due to your terrible choices. Please decide not to die. Now i’m glad to not be hearing from you for a long time. If you’re lucky, you’ll end up in jail. You’ll survive longer that way, compared to how you are living now.
You remain blocked, so don’t bother texting back. Kevin out.
I forwarded the following to her mom and Cliffy
This is material that helped me a lot in understanding and dealing with manipulative addicts. I hope if things get dark, this can give you help. Call me anytime to discuss recovery.
Finis
I can’t think about her anymore, but at least I left the seeds of recovery with those around her. The thing I wrote to her was a violation of the JADE principle – don’t justify, argue, defend or explain. But I think I can be forgiven for that. This was mildly emotional.
I’m going to miss the person I loved. She’s gone now but there were flashes of the past in her. I wish I could cry about this but …it’s just not there anymore. Enough tears have been shed about her impending death due to addiction.
