Well, at least the last post here. You see, i’ve found this venue useful for my personal recovery, anonymizing everyone but myself. But that said, people are investigating me and finding my blog and using it to ‘penalize’ me. So it seems that the onslaught of bad manners results in me anonymizing myself to protect against the inconsiderate actions of others.
So, the whole posting history will move elsewhere, but the content will be identical. Probably better for me in general. Though a honeypot (like this) for those who would investigate me is not the worst idea in the world. Detecting them early is a good idea. It’s a sign of unhealthy control. I’ll think on that.
There’s a socio-sexual hierarchy (SSH) message inherent in this. I’m pretty sure i’m a Sigma. I don’t care about hierarchies and I don’t want to claim some status from the things I have done. This is more along the lines of Step 5…“I Admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.“
I don’t moralize a lot about what I have done, but I am conscious of my sins. Most of them are of the nature of failing to respect myself and others by ending things promptly or not starting things when I feel like they are not going to prosper. This is another example of that.
My problem is codependence, but I also have an issue with passivity in terms of female relationships. The passivity is caused by my ambivalence about anyone in my life, based on my life experiences. I’m not sure I want someone very near me, so I don’t reach out looking for people usually.
I let them seek me out, and they do because of my SSH status. But the exact kind of woman that would seek you out is probably the exact kind I should not be with. More stuff to think about. The upshot is that I should probably preemptively delete anyone who looks for me.
Sounds like a sponsor discussion.
